“I Was Angry And Jealous”: Sonali Kulkarni On Losing National Award To Tabu

Actress Sonali Kulkarni has opened up about how she felt after losing the 1997 National Award for Best Actress to Tabu, who was honoured for the film Maachis. Sonali was nominated for her role in Daayra.

Decades later, during an appearance on Screen Spotlight, Sonali recalled how she thought Tabu won only because she was Shabana Azmi’s niece.

Sonali Kulkarni Opens Up About Losing National Award to Tabu

The actress said, “I was jealous of everyone who was winning awards.”

She continued, “Every year, my films were considered the best-chosen films in the final rounds of the National Awards. And every year after year, I was getting disappointed. And that was the time when I really wanted a National Award. I was winning others, but what you don’t get, you crave for that the most.”

Recalling her thoughts on Tabu’s win, Sonali remembered telling herself, “She’s from the industry na!” The actress believed that Tabu won the award solely because she was the niece of five-time National Award-winning star Shabana Azmi. 

“I was so angry and jealous of Tabu that I finally went and watched Maachis. When I watched her films, it helped me deal with the insecurities or the desperation I had,” Sonali revealed.

Sonali Kulkarni Shares Her Thoughts After Watching Maachis

Sonali shared that Tabu’s performance in Maachis was “so sleek” that it helped her calm down. “Her performance not only gave me joy but also had so much command it helped me come to terms with my own life and abilities. When I watched many films of Tabu, including Maachis, Astitva, and Chandni Bar, I fell in love with her every time,” she confessed.

The actress revealed that later she got rid of the desire to win a national award. Reflecting on her attitude from the time, she added, “At the beginning of your career, you want to perform all your emotions with intensity. You don’t know what subtlety is. It’s now that I’m understanding what it is to be subtle and what the difference is between theatre acting and film acting. So, I have no complaints now. I’ve come to terms with myself, more than anything else.”

Later on, Sonali went on to win the Special Jury Award at the National Film Awards 2002 for Kranti Kanade’s Marathi short film Chaitra. Sonali admitted that over the years her aspirations have changed and now she is manifesting a collaboration with Tabu.